Those 3 words have sat staring back at me from the laptop screen with the flashing insertion point for days. Sat at my dining table staring out the window, i mean it’s not quite the new york view but i feel abit like carrie when she has her conflicting moments, all that’s missing is the ciggy, oh and the book deal, the new york times column, and the walk in wardrobe filled with designer gear, lol.
We as women put so much pressure on ourselves to look beautiful, but what are we aspiring to? What is the ultimate goal? Is it to be desired? Is it personal gratification when we look in the mirror? What is the blueprint for beauty? Who tells us what is beautiful? How is beauty measured? Where do you look for the answer? Is it on Instagram, facebook, magazines, tv? Or do you look at the girl next door?
Fuck me thats alot of questions! And they don’t stop there, I bet you have a set of your own.
So what the world tells us…
If you look at the 100 most beautiful women in history.. (The evening standard) they include ..
Audrey hepburn, Dianna princess of wales, halle berry, kate moss, jlo, naomi campbell, thandie newton, raquel Welsh, teri hatcher, lucy lui, meg ryan, tess daily, charlotte church, nicole richie, paris hilton, anna kournikova.
What do they have in common? Apart from being all so different, Well they are all famous for one! Ladies there are 3.905 billion of us in the world at present so that 100 makes up 2.56082e – 06% , i bummed out in maths at school but i’m sure as hell that is no where near 0.01% and is one of those magical minisual maths numbers.
So my question is, is that really fair compassion for a woman’s beauty? Over history or not. It should be the world’s top 100 FAMOUS women in history at best.
And yet these are the women you and me are compared to, the world’s idea of beauty.
Now according to science …
Bella Hadid is the most beautiful woman in the world. Good old doctor julian de silva uses the golden ratio theory. ‘divine proportion’ was theorised in ancient greece. Apparently you calculate a measurement of the eyes,eyebrows,nose,lips, chin and jaw and it tells you how you rank on the beauty charts. Bella ranked the highest with 94.35%
A few from the top ten include amber heard 91.85% ( i’m glad she is on the list i’ll come back to her) kate moss 91.05% natalie portman 90.51%, cara delevingne 89.99%.
Apart from my battered brows my mug hasn’t done me too bad really. I’m no oil painting by any means but I’m good with what I was dealt from the gene pool ( well now i am) . Now according to my beauty score 2020 my golden ratio is 80.4%. So just in the top 20% bracket. I am laughing my head off here! It’s all shits and giggles but I’ll take it! Note thats with a full face on!
So basically what dr julian is saying is if you have a mathematical fisogg then your scientifically beautiful! Hmmm I have a few issues with that!
If we really want to create a formula for beauty we might as well try to dissect a soap bubble to find the answer. There are as many versions of beauty as there are episodes of eastenders.
I asked my followers who they thought was the most beautiful women in the world. Sure i had many famous names, but i also had ‘MY MUM’ not mine obviously, but theirs.
Why? Because beauty is an illumination of the soul. These women see beauty as character, intelligence, strength and style. And by style I don’t mean fashion, I mean the style in which they do things.
This brings me back to Amber Heard, she sits in 3rd place of the divine proportion top 10. So scientifically she is the 3rd most beautiful woman in the world. we also all know how her character has been portrayed, so my question to you is, is she beautiful? Thought about it.. My answer is no, she isn’t beautiful, no amount of symmetry or mathematical angle makes her beautiful to me. Because all i see is the ugliness of her character. This is my opinion or POV as the social’s goes these days. Whether she did or didn’t do those things mud sticks, now yes it’s wrong to judge but being so public and the evidence against her it seems pretty water tight to me, especially being dissected in the court of law. Yes physically she is attractive but i certainly do not see the 3rd most beautiful woman in the world.
Being physically attractive and beautiful is 2 completely different things. Beauty is how you feel, it’s not something physical.
So our relationship with beauty is that double edged sword I’ve talked about in previous posts.
We naturally want to feel our best and seek treatments to enhance what we have, and there isn’t anything wrong in that.
Getting our nails done, shaping eyebrows, lashes etc all give us a confidence boost and help us to feel good. It’s self care and good for the soul as long as you don’t let it become your drug.
Its taken me 19 years to feel comfortable leaving the house make up free. Make up was my drug, i was addicted. When someone develops an addiction, the brain craves the reward of the substance. My reward was the feeling of feeling good, feeling beautiful and confident. Being able to be someone else, someone other than me, I didn’t like me. When I took off the makeup that was my come down, the high disappeared and a what appeared to be a haggard mess was left. So what did i do? Chased the high even more, never was i ever without a face of makeup, but then that wasn’t enough, my skin needed to be more tanned, i needed longer lashes, a new foundation, different lip colour… it then took the pleasure out of it and started consuming my life, just like a drug.
And if you think of women who seek out the newest facial treatments .. lip fillers, botox, facelifts ect does that not have the same effect? These treatments are brilliant, and aid in our mental state, improving confidence ect but women actually fall into massive amounts of debt for these treatments, always needing their next dose.
Double edge sword remember …
Those who know me, know i love anything drag related! No not cars but queens! I’m like a rupauls drag race superfan. Please believe me when i say that program and all the amazing queens unknowingly helped me through a really shitty time, and i’ve learnt alot from them. They transform themselves into these glamazons, giving themselves alter egos… do you not think this is what us females actually do? The difference is unlike me previously, and I’m sure other women, these queens are just as happy out of drag as they are in. they have that healthy relationship with beauty.
There’s a drag line and I quote “we are all born naked and the rest is drag” and by god is it true. The exercise where you stand in the mirror naked and look at yourself flaws and all, find things you like about yourself, this is supposed to help you accept your body, your face and beauty is no different. That is you! It’s your soul’s vessel, it’s worth is priceless. Your drag is your clothes, make up, beauty treatments, you see we are no different to those queens. We need to learn to be comfortable both ways and not be so addicted to our alter egos that we lose ourselves.
I overcame my addiction and rediscovered the pleasure I first gained from makeup and its purpose in my life. Make up free is my naked blank canvas, and i do now leave the house without it and i’m comfortable. Not because i’ve let myself go, but because this is me, it is who i am. My blank canvas can be painted, i can create different looks depending on the event or mood, and now i see it as art. Just like the nails I create, the tattoos I draw or have, the artwork I enjoy, it’s enjoyable and beautiful. It’s my self expression, it’s your self expression. Beauty enhancements are there to aid in your confidence, not for you to become dependent on them, or for them to diminish your mental health. Ask yourself are you in control?
So what is the answer to my question? What is beauty?
Beauty is accepting and embracing your internal and external qualities. Beauty is being unafraid to be yourself, projecting your uniqueness to the world. Confidence, strength and resilience. Beauty is YOU , no matter the form, shape, colour, it’s that simple.
I’m going to end on a famous rupaul drag quote:
“If you can’t love yourself how the hell are you going to love anyone else”
So ask yourself whats your drag?
(right time to go and take my own advice lol)